Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
