It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
