You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize