alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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