You're so nebulous sometimes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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