Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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