So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
