If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Randomize