And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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