My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
