i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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