I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This baby is an asshole
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
