Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
