Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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