Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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