Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
even my farts smell like vagina
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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