i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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