So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
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