i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
