That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
