Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
where are you?
Hypothermia
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize