remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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