There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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