well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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