Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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