Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
