I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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