Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
