I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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