just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
