the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
