Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
