I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
