If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize