You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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