your parents love me but you hate me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
