soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
