fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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