Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
