Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
