GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize