I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
