I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
