Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
