Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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