everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
