As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize