I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
