You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
