do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
