in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
