The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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