My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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