I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
