On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
