took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's blow job season.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
