she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
