Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
