the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
