please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize