remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
