I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
