and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
