Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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