direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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