i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
