Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
