We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
