god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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