I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
