I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
